Yeah, I'll get right on that.

Celebrity: A celebrity is a widely-recognized or famous person who commands a high degree of public and media attention.

The operative word here is "demands".

As someone who has worked with celebrities for many years I can tell you for the most part - it sucks. Sure, I have met some really fantastic and genuine people. But most celebrities are simply a huge pain in the ass. All of the studio coddling and all of the media and fan frenzy have contributed to many celebrities twisted view of reality. They are demanding. They believe they are entitled to everything and anything, including being catered to - at every whim. I recently got friendly with a celebrity who in a social setting seemed incredibly sweet and generous. It wasn't long before I got a phone call in which I was told to "get on that".

No, I don't work for these people. It was exclusively social until I threw an idea out. Before I knew it I was being treated like their maid. I hung up the phone and thought, FUCK YOU. I quickly sent an email setting them straight. Have you heard from them? Nope, me neither. But after a day or so I started to recall other similar situations with celebrities: Come out and play with me (at 2AM). Pick that up for me. Can you get me drugs? This is why people like Perez Hilton are making millions. Because even though he's a horrible, nasty little shit-talker, he's telling a lot of ugly truths about a lot of pretty celebrities.

Why do we give a fuck? Because the media says so? Because they have 50 million bucks? Believe me, most celebrities are social retards and have less class than Jed Clampet. I was recently with a celebrity who was poo-pooing over a bottle of Moet Chandon rose champagne, yet looked at me cross-eyed when I asked if they were referring to the Imperial Brut or Vintage '98. And what the hell is a frittata they ask? Get you head out of your Hollywood asshole and get a fucking life. Then, stop spending all of your money on bling, cars and designer bullshit, before you end up on "Where are they now?"

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