The joys of tipping.

I fucking hate the concept of tipping.

The whole concept sucks. I pay my employees. Shop owners pay their employees. Why do I have to subsidize a restaurant's payroll? That's just wrong.

In fact, many cultures view tipping as an insult. Tipping in Japan for instance, is considered condescending. Right fucking on. You're hired to do a good job - it shouldn't be an option.

Customarily, one would be expected to tip more generously for really good service. But what if the service blows, or if it's practically non existent? I didn't have to ask myself that question until recently...

It all started with this little Italian restaurant that has great food. Unfortunately, half the time I would get stuck with this arrogant snot nose waiter. WTF, I like the place and I really don't want spit in my food, so I deal, and of course he always gets his obligatory tip. Until recently, when dude got my order wrong twice in the same night and pretty much called me a liar in front of three other people. At that moment, I knew the answer to the aforementioned question. I didn't care if this asshole wrapped my dick in an Italian flag and sucked my knob - he wasn't getting a fucking penny. And he didn't.

Note: While tipping is poo-pooed in Japan, you can be sure the guy delivering your sushi will have his palm wide open. Welcome to America, kid.

17 Comments:

At 9:48 AM, Blogger protest said...

i waitressed my way through college so i know what i'm talking about when i say: tipping food servers/bartenders is neccessary in the U.S.A. if the wages of these people was decent, or even minimum required by law, then you can say that tipping is optional, and at that point i'd agree. but man when i'm getting $2 and some change an hour from the restaurant owner and working my ass off for a snotty party of 8 who ALL want separate checks, fuckers better sweeten the deal. for the record i think restaurant owners should have to follow the same rules as every other proprietor in this country, don't know how this $2 an hour crap came about.

 
At 11:31 AM, Blogger the original piker said...

I am completely in your corner! It's a business like any other and payroll is part of the cost of doing business. Wait staff should be compensated fairly like any other employee in any other industry. Why should you be at the mercy of patrons? Particularly if the kitchen screws up... it's all wrong.

 
At 4:37 PM, Anonymous Kerstin said...

OOOO. This particular topic just chaps my ass. I am also baffled how restaurants can get away with less than min. wage and expect the public to pick up the slack for them. And I'm sorry, $2.00/hr or not, if you suck at service, you're also going to suck thin air when I leave your table.

 
At 11:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you're a loser and your blog will be dead in a few months - and certainly not gonna end up giving you a book deal, movie script, or profits from adsense.

your writing is subpar and opinions are child-like annoying.

c if you post that or only when people agree with your crap.

 
At 1:39 PM, Blogger the original piker said...

We'll you're reading it asshole so I guess that says a lot about you.

I'm not looking for a book or movie deal from this blog because, A) I write for myself and I don't give a shit what anyone thinks about my blog, certainly not you, and B) I have more money than you're pathetic fingers will touch in a lifetime.

Losers aren't self-made successful people, they are people like yourself that talk shit to people they don't know anything about.

Of course you will never see this because you hate this loser blog, right? We'll see...

Oh one more thing, fuck you :)

 
At 4:32 PM, Anonymous kerstin said...

You're killing me. That reply was the best part of my whole day!

Will you marry me? ;)

 
At 5:51 PM, Blogger the original piker said...

People make their own misery, don't they? Well, I would but I am spoken for... although we will always share something sacred... our nasty POV! XXX

 
At 10:31 PM, Blogger ppk said...

"Losers aren't self-made successful people, they are people like yourself that talk shit to people they don't know anything about." REALLY? how much do you know about waiters?

 
At 8:03 AM, Blogger the original piker said...

I know that it sucks because I was a waiter. Worse yet, I had to cook the shit in a 200 degree shack sweating my balls off for a lot less than 2 dollars an hour. But that's not my point. My issue is with the industry and structure. A waiter has little to no control over how the restaurant is managed, the kitchen runs or just about anything... so why should they take the hit for it and why should I have to pay their salaries? That's my issue. This isn't an "I hate waiters" story, it's about tipping and why it doesn't work.

 
At 8:11 AM, Blogger the original piker said...

TODAY, I rejected only the second comment in almost one year. "Anon", posted a comment that ended with: "I hope you burn in hell you fucking fuck."

My policy is to publish everything, unless it insults humanity or is so completely off point and disturbing that nobody would want to hear it. This is one of those comments.

 
At 8:58 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

F_U_C_K YOU! Im a badass bartender...I listen to ppl's bullshit stories all night long, laugh at their stupid jokes, act as a therapist, a psychologist and a goddamn father figure ALL THE FUCKING WHILE dispensing custom made cocktails and shots. I am a POPE to these idiots. MOTHERFUCKING RIGHT I BETTER GET SOME BADASS TIPS!
-Trey in San Antonio TX

 
At 9:15 AM, Blogger the original piker said...

Boy, I really missed the boat. I should have advertised on a restaurant blog so I could could have gotten even more hate mail.

 
At 10:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

you are right the whole tipping process sucks waitresses take the fall for everything and the make shit for money i was a waitress and somee people no matter how nice you are how good you do dont tip a waitress works hard to and shouldnt have to get paid by the customers i got like 2.13 an hour thats slave labor when my tips were added maybe 3-4 an hour its bull shit

 
At 6:08 PM, Blogger Manny said...

Fuckin aye....I tip if the service is above and beyond and I'm loathe to tip if it's standard or sub par. The main reason I tip regularly now is because my girlfriend gives me shit if I don't, since she used to waitress.

Although she has had my back a few times when the server was a fucktard in an apron.

 
At 1:46 PM, Anonymous Nick said...

You're a fucking dildo. Youre just looking for an excuse to be cheap and get out of paying for a tip. If you would like, restaurant owners can add 20% to their prices and pay the servers that way. Reality is, people like you and people in general are shitty to wait on. You get treated like you are a servant, when in fact you are just making ends meet. So pretty much, man up, tip and remember that if your food comes out late, it is the KITCHENS fault, not the server. Really, the only reason to not tip, and 20% is what you should be tipping, is if the person is rude. If you make a mistake at work, does your pay get docked? Didnt think so.

 
At 1:56 PM, Blogger the original piker said...

Nick, Nick, Nick... you really should read the post first. This is about rude people, like you. So how about if you take that dildo you seem so obsessed with, and shove it up your ass.

 
At 3:42 AM, Anonymous Nick (not the dildo one) said...

Well, Well, Well, what a slippery slope this topic is. I agree with your post. It's bullshit that I pay someone for doing their job correctly. Don't tell me I NEED to tip because of the crap pay they get. They know the pay before they start, and if they didn't like the sound of it they either wouldn't do it or have no sense. I am not their employer, why do I need to pay for them to do their job? People don't tip me for doing my current job (and I got fired from my first job for taking a tip I didn't even want). I don't tip a police officer when they give me a ticket, or when the cable guy gives me the channels I pay for. So why when you can write down my food order correctly should you get that little extra? Because it's customary in America. That's the only reason it's done, and that is the only reason why I do it and will continue to do it. By the way Piker you can steal my little system if you want, it has served me well; always do about 15% for good service, 20-25% for great, and as low as $.01 for bad service (if you don't leave a tip people can think you just forgot, but you leave one penny and they know they were bad)

 

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