The orange people.

Nope. This post is not about oranges, or people who eat oranges, or even Anita Bryant.

This post is about the increasing number of people who appear to look orange. Why? Why would someone want to look orange? And how much crap would one have to slather on to get this zesty color?

Someone enlighten me, please. Are these overly made up, orange-faced women buying the wrong color, or too much color, or putting it on wrong? They must look in the mirror. Can’t they tell they look like fucking Ernie?

But the quest for orange doesn't stop at make-up. There's always a little fake bake, fellas. Where you climb into a giant easy bake oven and pop out looking, ta-da, orange. And can someone tell me what the fuck “Hollywood Tan” is all about? Aside from George Hamilton, I don't think the rest of Hollywood thinks being orange is a good thing.

Still, the most insane orange-ization technique of all, has you standing in a fake bake booth where they, no shit, spray paint you from head to toe, with, you guessed it, orange die. And you think you've got problems.

Hey, all you orange people, you look awful.


At 4:26 PM, Blogger Hop said...

I saw an orange woman the other was scary!

At 7:00 PM, Blogger Kerstin said...

I'm not sure what the orange glow is about. It's unnatural looking and quite honestly, unattractive. Who knows what goes through the minds of some girls?

This girl just says no to orange skin. I'll keep my freckles, fair skin and sun screen thank you very much.

At 2:11 PM, Anonymous Colleen said...

Thank god somebody else has enough of a brain to notice that weirdnesss. Ever been to a high school lately? Those places are full to bursting with girls who look like they OD'ed on beta carotene.

To make things even worse, prom is coming soon! Ha.. I can smell the UV rays now!

At 11:19 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Like a freak giant carrot. I'm so confoosled. Do the "oranges" think they actually look good? It just makes them look so tasteless and low-class. It's like they're wearing a big sign that says, "I have enough money to bake in a UVdeath bed, but not enough to buy a mirror."

Poor people though, you just know some of their friends are saying s/he looks great but really snicker behind their back.

At 4:37 PM, Anonymous Nikki said...

A few years ago, we had a girl in highschool who was probably the most orange individual I had ever seen.

Seriously; you could have plopped the bitch in the middle of the road to serve as a damn hazard cone she was so orange.

At 5:55 PM, Anonymous Wooly said...

I confess that in highschool, I went through a tanning bed phase and a self-tanning lotion phase. I thought that my pale skin was embarrassing, and opted for the nasty orange.

By the time I turned 19, I was fine with being pale, and dismissed the idea that pale = unattractive.

Based on my experience, I think that the orange people must have a poor self-image, hence the term "tanorexic". Their perception is so skewed that they actually think they aren't tan enough.

Don't get me wrong -- I'm not defending the orangies -- I'm adding "delusional" to the list of terms(unattractive, scary-looking, stupid...) that describe them.

A friend of mine actually gave herself a melanoma by over-tanning, and went right back to tanning in tanning beds after having her skin cancer removed. What an idiot.


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