Oh doctor, may I kiss your ring?

This post is a quickie but I had to get this off my chest.

Listen, I'm not stupid. We all need doctors. But I don't understand why people in this profession are anointed with a title as if they were royalty. Why are you Mr. Smith and a doctor is Dr. Smith? And how come when I call a busy restaurant and can’t get a reservation my “doctor” friends always seem to get one?

When I am sitting in the bar waiting for a table, it’s “follow me please”. But when my friend the doctor is waiting it’s, “Oh, DOCTOR SMITH! Right this way”. Fuck you. I already know you’re a proctologist, so why does an asshole expert get to be treated any differently than me?

If the President of the United States is referred to as “Mr. President”, an asshole specialist (or any other doctor for that matter) should be Mr. or Mrs. or Ms. just like the rest of us.

And no, even though you’re my friend, I really don’t want to shake your hand, "doctor". So there.

16 Comments:

At 1:49 PM, Blogger Kerstin said...

Having worked for doctors (neurosurgeons no less) most of my professional life, I have come to understand the respect people have for them. Even when they are assholes. For me, it is out of respect that I always refer to them as doctor because, well, many of them spent a good portion of their lives on their education and the skills they use to make us better. And you gotta admit that is something that you should revere.

Now, they get a lot of special treatment because they have a lot of money to throw around and if you're nice, you might get to be part of the windfall. It sucks, but it's true.

Having said that, they also spend a good part of their day being jerk off's and I hate them. Which is why I left health care and doctor's behind.

 
At 4:08 PM, Blogger the original piker said...

Kerstin, I was on the edge until I got to the last paragraph - you really made me laugh, thanks :)

 
At 4:40 PM, Anonymous Dr. Youwishyouhadthistitleto said...

Ya, because doctors that save your fucking life should be down credited i mean they didn't work hard though 12 years of medical school and hard ass work to become just like you.

 
At 8:13 AM, Blogger the original piker said...

I do believe the arrogant manner in which you defend your entitlement to privilege, only serves to make my case.

You must be some compassionate fucking doctor.

 
At 3:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Deep down, all doctors know that, if totally ignored and unteated, >90% of non traumatic ailments will go away with time.

 
At 4:48 PM, Blogger Hop said...

Doctors get special attention for one reason...most of them are rich.

And anyone who earns a doctorate in college is a "Dr.", not just MDs.

 
At 10:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Even worse to me are people with non-medical doctorate degrees or even pscyhe doctors who expect to be called doctors. I can put up with an MD being called "Dr." because at least they theorectically serve a public purpose in letting us all know that if we keel over in pain the dude will help us, but the self-important sociology professor aint saving lives so he needs to shut the hell up with the Dr. title (and this comes from someone with a J.D.). But if we are in a social setting where first names are the norm, the MD better not introduce himself as Dr. Bob unless he wants to be openly mocked. Fortunately, my profession almost mandates openly mcoking doctors because I belong to one of the few professions that doctors truly fear, if not respect -- law. L-Dog

 
At 11:13 AM, Anonymous missamerica79 said...

Being a 'doctor' myself, I'm sure that not a one of you would mind being called Dr. So-and-so if you had worked hard to earn it...and no, I do not make a ton of money. Maybe some with opinions on that matter should check into the cost of malpractice insurance and student loan payments for hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of debt. Find something else to complain about...

 
At 12:11 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

So then, what is it about medical school that causes them to be incapable of telling time? If my appointment was at 9, I'm walking out at ten after. I'm also calling my insurance company to tell them not to pay any bills for the given day as he was a no-show. There have been a couple times they've tried to bill me for not giving 24 hours notice before cancelling, but as soon as I ask the pecker heads if they'd like my attorney's number they seem to think it could slide just this once. Dentists are the worst.

 
At 11:32 AM, Blogger the original piker said...

RIGHT ON! How about billing doc for the time we sit and wait? See if they swallow that.

 
At 11:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I alwsys go for the first appt of the day. I waited for 30 minutes and left, letting the person who schedules appointments that I would call back for another. I then faxed the doctor's office a bill for the time I missed from work. I got a call from the scheduler AND the doctor himself. These SOBs need to know that when I am paying them, they are working for me.

 
At 10:21 AM, Blogger the original piker said...

Love that!

 
At 10:58 AM, Anonymous Duncan said...

Assholes are assholes and they come in all shapes and flavours. Asshole plumbers, asshole doctors, asshole bloggers.

When someone spends a decade+ earning a title, that person a certain amount of respect and the right to use that title. If I spent that long working on something, I'd want to have a Prefix as well.

Plus they tip better.

 
At 6:42 AM, Anonymous Hell yeah! said...

Hey to Mr fucking "Dr. Youwishyouhadthistitleto" and everyone else that thinks they're clever:

Piker has a good point. We live in a day and age where a much larger portion of our population is educated. I work with people who are just as smart or smarter than any fucking doctor every day....oh and by the way for the "lifesaver" bandwagon-- that doesn't mean shit until you're in that situation. Even if I needed a doctor RIGHT NOW, there's hundreds of swinging dicks that can help me at the hospital.

The health care system in the US is fucked up and the non-humble approach of "Doctors" isn't helping things. I would rather give up my dinner table for "Sergeant" so and so from the local police department than a fucking physician.

Fuck yeah Piker! I'm with you 100% on this one.

 
At 6:23 PM, Anonymous His Royal Doctorness in Training said...

I'm soon to graduate medical school and it's a little frightening to be called "doctor" already by some of my patients. Just hearing it reminds me of the tremendous responsibility I have to them and of why I made the commitment to borrow ungodly amounts of money to spend four years of my life working like a madman and another four to six years of struggling to earn what averages out to about minimum wage. I'm grateful for the experience and I'm excited that I'll be able to help improve the quality of lives. It's not an easy road however. Along the way, we take a lot of abuse from older doctors, nurses and other professionals, and unfortunately from each other in the name of tradition and competition. The medical system is extremely hierarchical and at times, those at the bottom really feel the beat down. I think some doctors come away from their training with a chip on their shoulder and subsequently behave like jerks to their colleagues and to their patients. Most of the men in my family work in trades or construction, and if a coworker or even a foreman strutted around talking down to people the way that some of the attending physicians talk to residents and students, they'd get their clock cleaned. I guess being a jerk and getting away with it is an advantage of being a doc, but not one that I look to take advantage of. I also don't expect to be rich or receive any special treatment when I go out for dinner. I'm not sure how anyone outside of work would know what I do. Only a tool would introduce himself as Dr. So-and-So to someone outside of the office and outside of academia. Some doctors make a lot of money but most are far from rich. While many of my classmates began as upper-middle-class, that does not apply to all of us. I will live comfortably in about 8 or 9 years from now, when I've settled into my career, but I have friends who chose nursing, engineering, and finance who are already living comfortably. I've stuck with medicine because I enjoy it, I enjoy my research and patient care, and I will eventually share the sort of lifestyle experienced by my nursing and engineering pals. The whole "doctor" title stems from the thought that we are teachers. Some of us are involved in academic pursuits, so we're quite analogous to college professors (also called doctors). Some nurses have their doctorate and should be addressed as doctor. Other professionals, including my partner, have doctorate degrees outside of medicine but deserve just as much respect for their contributions to health care and science. I know psychologists and pharmacists who have saved lives. One thing is for certain: all of us in the health care arena should work to establish more respectful relationships with our patients so that they walk away from their appointments and hospital care with trust and a better understanding of issues important to their health.

 
At 8:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Some doctors are great, but others are total asses! I used to have a friend (by the way, I am in my fifties) whose daughter became a physician in Canada.
I quickly lost this friend after she told me a few horror stories.
Her daughter found it funny (and she laughed as she relayed the story to me) of how one of her patients was so fat, he couldn't get up off the examining table after she had assessed him. Another time her daughter and her friend who was a psychiatrist were at a restaurant and the psychiatrist put her menu up over her face when she realized the waiter was a patient. They thought this was funny.
Perhaps what goes around will eventually come around for these people. And Kerstin, as you can see, they're also jerks when they're not at work.
Hanna

 

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